Boundaries

Affirmation:

I set healthy boundaries around my time, my emotions and my thoughts.

Prayer:

Father of Love and Light,
Thank You for helping me to see that I am not a victim unless I choose to be.  Thank You for helping me believe that my time is valuable too.  Thank You for helping me tend to the false sense of responsibility I think I have sometimes.  And Thank You for removing guilty feelings that I have as I learn to set boundaries and take care of myself.  Thank You. 
And so it is.

Contemplation:

The book "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

1.  Time Boundaries  -  We have a right to our time.  We can choose how we spend our time, to a large degree.  When we have young children, we may have less flexiblity with our time.  We have to work to earn income.  However, that leaves a great deal of free time.  The way we use our money is usually similar to the way we use our time.  Think about that for a minute.  When others ask for help or assistance, we have a right to say "Yes" or "No", depending on our will.  If you are in a relationship or church or workplace that does not allow you to say "No", take a hard look at the effect that is having on you.
2.  Emotional Boundaries  -  Enmeshment is a dangerous dynamic in relationships.  This is the process where we have NO emotional separation from another person or our family or our work or our church.  When a person you love is hurting, it does have some effect on you.  But, it does not have the right to destroy you.  If a person you love is an alcoholic or commits suicide, it does not have to destroy you.  A person with good boundaries can maintain their own sense of self and purpose, even when loved ones choose to throw life away.  You can say "No" in responsible, respectful ways.
3.  Cognitive Boundaries  -  You have ownership of your own thoughts.  No one has a right to dominate or control your thoughts.  If a lover says, "No one will ever love you like I love you", try to hear the control and irrationality in that.  It sounds good, but what is the motive?  Only you control your thoughts.  We have the power to think what we want to think, to think what we really believe.  We must take steps to protect and focus our thoughts.